Where do I even begin with the Eingewöhnung? This process has been such a big part of my daily life in September that I feel like I have so much to share.
Eingewöhnung means “settling in period,” and specifically in Germany, it refers to the multi-week process a child goes through when they begin daycare. I’ve heard about it for a while from friends and family, with tales of survival, but it wasn’t until I experienced it myself that I truly understood what it is. The why is still unknown, but let me explain.
We’ve had all of our children in some form of daycare across different countries. In each of them, we’ve simply shown up with our child and let them stay for the day. Sometimes we start with a half-day and work our way to a full day, but that’s it. While it’s stressful, it works. There really isn’t any formal “settling in” time for kids to adapt to a new place.
In Germany, the Eingewöhnung period is a notoriously slow process. It can stretch anywhere from three to eight weeks before your child can stay the full day on their own. It starts with a period where a parent or guardian must actually stay with the child in daycare for about an hour each day, with both of you returning home by 10 AM. Then it progresses, allowing the parent to leave for increasingly longer periods.
The process moves at a snail’s pace, and while I don’t see a downside from the child’s perspective, I do think it could be shortened and achieve the same result.
I have now spent more time at daycare than I did as a child. In all honesty though, there were some perks. I now know the names of all my son’s friends and teachers. It was nice to see what the kids do and get a feel for the rhythm of the place. It does offer a period for you to get to know the caregiver team, which I think must be especially helpful for new parents to feel comfortable with where their child will be. (Although I also have to wonder if it’s odd for the caregivers to have parents observing their daily work?).
As a fourth-time mom, I feel like I could have experienced all the benefits of this process in one week. I appreciated all of the positives of this slow introduction, but I still don’t see the value in the drawn-out timeline. However, I have lived to tell the tale of Eingewöhnung, which seems more like a rite of passage than anything else. Do I get a badge now?
