Flying With a Toddler: What I Wish I Knew 10 Years Ago

If you’re searching for toddler airplane tips, how to fly with a 2 year old, or what to pack for a toddler on a plane, you’re in the right place.

We took our first international trip with a baby in 2016 when my oldest son was less than three months old and really haven’t stopped since. Now with four kids aged 10 and under, we have experienced the toddler years pretty much nonstop. These are all of the top things we do to prepare ourselves and our toddler for travel to make the process as smooth as possible. Which, spoiler alert, can still be stressful, but you’ve got this!

Flying With a Toddler: Set Your Expectations Before You Board

Going into a long travel day with an expectation of any kind can lead to you feeling like the whole experience was a failure. And, I promise, a long travel day will never go exactly as you expect it to go. So go ahead and clear your mind. The only thing you can control is yourself. Not the flight being delayed. Not the grumpy passenger next to you. And definitely not your toddler.

So what I’m documenting here isn’t a guide to making your toddler a perfect angel, but a way to best prepare yourself for the unknown and be ready for as many scenarios as possible.

The Toddler Travel Plan: How to Prep Kids Before a Flight

Hands down my number one piece of travel advice for any kids starting at age 2 is to draw them a travel plan. While this starts looking different for older kids, it starts with some basic drawings. It’s a step-by-step overview of what they can expect on travel day.

Since we have had some intense multi-flight days, that is something we always point out: how many airplane flights they can expect. Once we had a kid misunderstand that there were two flights and have a mini panic when we reminded him we still had another flight to go. Once we had a toddler melt down at the idea of handing over his backpack to the security agent while going through screening. So the idea with this plan is to sit together and talk about the travel day in detail. The drawing isn’t meant to be perfect, but to your toddler it’s a great representation of what you’re going through.

My trip last week with my 2-year-old reminded me just how useful it is. There were parts that I knew he might really stress about, like having my husband drop us off at the train station — I could see him being really upset that Papa wasn’t traveling with us — so I made sure to include that detail. I knew he’d be excited that his grandpa was picking us up on the other side of the travel, so we talked about that too and drew little cartoon people.

What to Include in Your Toddler’s Airplane Travel Plan

The other main points I like to include would be getting to and from the airport (ex: train, car, bus). How much wait time you expect between flights. Or when they are allowed to play with their toys. Having a specific time like waiting at the gate listed helps kids feel like they are in control and have a destination for playtime. That leads to my next favorite topic: rules!

Airplane Rules for Toddlers: How We Practice Before Flying

We added this pre-travel discussion during our COVID travels. We didn’t travel anywhere glamorous, but we were living abroad and needed to get back and forth to the U.S. and Germany while having a baby that year, so it got complicated traveling with three kids aged 4 to newborn in the midst of a pandemic.

Our solution was a one pager picture representation of the rules that we would hand draw (nothing fancy!) while we talked about the rules we have while traveling. At the time we mainly included wearing a mask, sanitizing hands all the time, and general hygiene rules.

The Airplane Rules We Practice With Our Toddler

Now we focus on the hard-to-follow basics. Think about any situation that might be stricter than in a non-airport setting, then draw it out. For us, this includes staying together, holding hands when we say to in order to stay together, specific times we might NEED to be in the stroller, not playing with toys until we’re in a specific area, and making a bathroom stop when we find a clean one. The idea is that your toddler has seen these rules visually and practiced talking about them before travel day.

Toddler Airplane Backpack: Let Them Pack Their Own Bag

Our kids carry their own suitcases and backpacks, and that can start as young as toddler age if you think they are ready for it. My two-year-old loves his little backpack and it’s the perfect size for him. We know he wears it and likes it, so we decided to let him bring it on the airplane. We also brought a small clip to hook it onto another bag if he decided to ditch it. But, he wound up wearing it the whole time and loving it.

For younger toddlers, try this lightweight backpack. Once they’re ready for a bigger size, upgrade to this toddler backpack for ages 3+.

What Goes In a Toddler’s Plane Backpack

As for what goes in the backpack, the rule is to keep it light. We let him decide in advance — as in a few days prior, not on the way out the door — and made sure it wasn’t too much. It weighed in at 2 pounds. We packed his favorite stuffed animal, three small cars, one plastic phone and a small board book. It all fit perfectly without jamming it closed. And we also avoided tiny pieces that could get lost on the plane.

You can also use a strap to attach your kid’s backpack to your luggage (or multiple suitcases together) so nothing gets left behind.

Toddler Airplane Activities: The Timing Strategy That Works

A well stocked parental stash of toys is going to be clutch. And keep this hidden to the best of your ability because there really is nothing worse than a toddler finding all the toys at once and deciding they are all not fun. Something about the element of surprise keeps the toddler entertained. There will be moments you pull out one thing and he wants nothing to do with it, but I actually try to keep the items hidden and reveal them by saying “would you like to read a book or play with stickers” and then once he decides, I pull out that one item, so I can still offer the other item later.

Best Travel Toys for Toddlers on a Plane: What We Pack

The goal is to pack items small enough to fit in your stash but engaging enough to actually hold attention. Here are our favorites for the toddler years that pack small and keep them entertained:

• LCD doodle pads — endlessly reusable for many ages and take up almost no space
• Fidget toys including stretchy figures — work for a surprisingly long time and suctions to the window
• Popping ball — great for bigger kids too as a fidget
• Pretend play phone — no actual buttons, just hands-on pretend play
• Sticker books — make sure to find a smaller size (like these) to easily fit in toddler backpack
• Wiki sticks — stick to any surface and pull off cleanly
• Hot wheels cars — grab a few from around the house, takes up nothing
• Board books with sound — Or these Usborne PRESS THE PAGE series which is smaller and less bulky
• Small calculator — mesmerizing buttons for many ages

Watch these in action in my reel about how time passes on a plane with toddlers.

Screen Time on a Plane With a Toddler: Our Rules

We really don’t have much screen time for our two-year-old at home but travel days are not the time to enforce those rules in our family. We really have very limited screen restriction for all of our kids on travel days.

Toddler Headphones + Tablet: How We Use Screens on Flights

In everyday life, we have very limited screen time. But travel days are completely different. When kids are confined to a seat for hours and can’t access a playground or roam freely, the rules have to flex. It’s about survival and keeping everyone sane through long stretches of sitting still.

For us, that means they can use the back-of-seat screens once we board until we try to have sleeptime, depending on the flight length. Headband-style headphones for toddlers stay on better than over-the-ear models. A 7-inch Kindle Fire tablet is affordable (especially on Prime Day when they drop to around $55) and perfect for younger kids. We own one for each kid. Some are 7-inch and some are 10-inch, and we really only use them while traveling. At home they disappear and no one asks about them.

By 2.5, our toddler actually wants to watch shows and has his own opinion about what he watches. It doesn’t last all that long until he wants to play with something else anyway.

Toddler Sleep on a Plane: Naps, Red Eyes, and Zoning Out

Sleeptime is ideal, especially if it’s a night flight or over a much needed nap time. But honestly, we find sleep for toddlers really hit or miss and that’s okay. We use the airplane pillow and bring a lightweight blanket so he can get cozy.

If They Won’t Sleep, Do This

One of my favorite tips is to just let them zone out a bit. Stare out the window, watch some TV, play with a wrinkle on the chair fabric. And just don’t over entertain if they aren’t asking for it. I find that they also mimic. If I watch a show, read a book (or attempt) or just close my eyes while peering at him a bit behind my lid, he will often do something equally calm. Especially moments when cabin lights dim, this is a great way to try to convince young kids to take a snooze.

The Kids Airplane Meal Hack: Why We Always Order It First

Snacks and food are essential. We pack snacks for him to munch on anytime he’s hungry and try to keep it a bit balanced so that he isn’t chowing down on sugar all day. But when it comes to airline food, we really recommend ordering a kids meal. Most airlines have kids meal options for free. And because it comes as a ‘special order’ meal, they usually get delivered before the general population.

3 Reasons the Kids Meal Comes First

The first is avoiding the hangry meltdown. I find my toddler always gets a bit hangry when they see food coming, and having it first avoids that particular spiral.

Then there’s timing. We often find the plane is a calm space after a hectic journey to the airport and an early nap looms, but when they nap before mealtime it’s a bit of a bad combo, so having them eat first is ideal.

Most important, though, is that it helps immensely to have them served at a separate time than my meal. I get to focus fully on the toddler — opening everything, unwrapping forks, not spilling his entire drink, helping him stab the noodles without dropping them on the floor — all without a meal in front of me. As a master of the back of the plane in economy, this really works well to finish his mealtime before mine even arrives.

The food itself is marginally more kid friendly too. It’s usually a pasta on American carriers, and sometimes more chicken nugget type meals while flying to Asia. But that’s just our experience. If they hate their meal, you can always eat it and give them whatever is served to you when it arrives!

Airplane Tray Table Hacks With a Toddler

Once your meal comes, if your toddler is finished, you can ask the flight crew to take away his empty tray when they finish the initial service so it avoids post-eating spillage. Alternatively, you can stack the tiny boxes in yours to consolidate trays and free up the toddler space.

Best Airplane Seat for a Toddler: Window, Car Seat, or Aisle?

Where you sit on the plane matters. Our kids don’t even know what first class means. We are economy through and through. It really depends on the seating configuration.

Picking the Right Seat for a Toddler

My favorite place for a toddler is having them next to the window with a built in wall on one side, window for entertainment and me as a human shield to the aisle for escape attempts. If you are traveling with three people and there are only two seats next to the window, consider adding one adult across the aisle. But with a family that has grown to six people, we have seen every combination possible. As long as the toddler is next to an adult and not in an aisle seat, it should be fine.

I also find that when you wind up being seated apart because your ticket didn’t include seats together, call the airline before you pay for seats. Most will allow families to select seats together without additional payment for kids under 10. I called Delta this month and it was free of charge for us.

Should You Bring a Car Seat on the Plane?

For young toddlers with their own seat, or for 2 or 3 year olds who like their car seat at home and nap well in them, consider bringing a car seat on board. Just make sure it’s an airline-approved car seat. In the US, you can spot approval by looking for a small airplane icon on the side or back of the seat. You can also check TSA’s complete list of approved models.

I do really love car seats on board for this age. Except for takeoff and landing, you don’t need to buckle it as tight as normal. When the seatbelt sign is off, you don’t need to buckle at all. I often wonder if that lap belt would do anything for my wiggly two-year-old, so a car seat must be better for safety.

Car Seat Travel Gear: How to Make It Work

If you do bring a car seat, this lightweight car seat that weighs under 8 pounds is a game-changer for travel. To keep it organized, use a car seat backpack pouch to carry it through the airport, or a luggage strap to attach it to your suitcase.

For those who prefer a lighter-weight alternative, a CARES harness offers safety without the bulk, though we prefer the car seat.

Toddler Walking on Plane: Why Aisle Roaming Backfires

When it comes to letting your toddler out of their little seat zone, think of it as a last resort. Imagine letting your toddler run down the aisle of Target and then trying to get them back in the buggy. It’s not pretty.

At one-years-old, or just starting to walk, it can work well. But by 2 they see the aisle as a sprint track. Usually I talk to the toddler before we venture away. If we are going to the bathroom I make sure they know, we’re going to the potty and then we’re coming back to the seat. We have to walk slowly and hold hands, etc. Those types of rules are great for the rules prep above! Or we might venture out for a snack in the back mid-flight, but with them knowing we will be back to our seats shortly, so it’s not a surprise.

Toddler Meltdown on a Plane: What to Do When It Happens

Toddlers are not meant to be perfectly well behaved. They are not developmentally capable of understanding exactly what’s happening and why there are all these rules. And there will be moments of resist, even if minor. But when a meltdown occurs, just take a deep breath and remember that we were all toddlers once, despite the grumpy man behind you staring like they never were.

How to Handle a Toddler Tantrum on a Flight

Your job is to be mom or dad. Just care for your little one without minding what anyone else thinks. It’s incredibly hard in a tight environment, but focusing on the toddler and using techniques you know work well is going to be the best use of your energy.

Also related, we love to hide some lollipops in our bags just in case. “I know you’re having a hard time. I’m here for you. Here’s a tissue, oh and what about a lollipop?”

Flying With a Toddler Is Hard, But It Ends

And perhaps the best part about a flight is that whether you wind up having the best behaved toddler or the worst flight of your life, the flight will indeed land again and you’ll be able to get off. There is a beginning and an end, even if you don’t feel like that time on the monitor progresses. So just close your eyes, take a deep breath and remember what it used to be like to travel solo.

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